Lots of Holidays are happening on the surface right now. Brewfest of course. The Dark irons are using some auxiliary tunnels from Gnomeregan as a staging area to attack Brewfest. At first I was hesitant to allow them to launch an attack directly from here, because we are so close to Ironforge, and direct conflict would be messy. But then I found out they let Mekkatorque be the guest of honor! I’ll do ANYTHING to spoil his party!
As former admiral of the gnomish submarine fleet, I know a lot of gnomes who went on to become unscrupulous scourges of the seas. Some of my favorite gnomes!
Celebrate with them later this month on Pirates Day, 20th of Septransgear. Tell them I sent you! Seriously make sure you mention I sent you, I get a commission for each… uh… PARTYGOER that shows up! Go buy a round. Seriously. Buying a round for everyone reduces chances of being stabbed by 20.9% and robbed by 17.2%!
Everyone enjoyed the Dance Studio! We gnomes have been hard at work for YEARS creating lights strong enough for all the races of Azeroth to dance on. It was NOT easy! But nobody thanked me! I mean, I didn’t build them personally, but they were built by gnomes, and as their King I should get a Thanks, uh, tithe?
Anyway. Everyone was supposed to be face down pass out drunk in Dalaran right now but it got canceled. Oh man… I invested all that money in the hangover remedies. I’m ruined!
Midsummer Fire Festival is almost over. We used to have a flame here in Gnomeregan, but it was maintained by the Dwarves that lived down here. The Dark Irons have expressed no interest in maintaining one, and troggs all just yell “Fire Bad” when there is a large open flame around. We also don’t have the heat redirections enchantments that Ironforge does so fires can get out of hand quickly. As far as I am concerned we won’t have one until the Alliance recognizes my rule!
Addendum: Please stop sending offers to light fires in Gnomeregan. This means you Millhouse!
Children’s Week is here. I wanted to do something for all the orphans from Gnomeregan, but I have been unable to locate where Mekkatorque has hidden the gnomish children that were evacuated when the troggs invaded. They must be some where. How could he hide that many children? I’ve been searching for these kids for almost 20 years. Where could they be!? In the mean time, we continue to make toys for the little tykes, including Jerry Hatchet Hands, the Spark’n’Flash race car, and the EZ Mix Explosives Kit!