Goblin Religion – Karmic Debt

Karmic Debt.

I like to think that goblins believe in karma, the kind of karma that you can BRIBE.  I heard someone on a Blizzard panel use the word “tithe” to describe the entirety of the goblins religion, but I think a more fitting concept for them is indulgence.

Goblins are BIG risk takers.  That works well for them in their crazy anarcho-capitalist system.  I also imagine they are somewhat superstitious.  If the gnomes version of the belief in the light is loosely parallel to the force from Star Wars (“In my experience there is no such thing as luck”) then goblins are probably exactly the opposite, (cross your fingers and hope “luck be a lady tonight!”)

So then how would the karma play in?  If you have unfairly, through deceit or theft, come into some money, you can pay an indulgence to a local priest.  That priest does ‘good works’ with your ill gotten gains and clears you of any jinx that might be on you for the transgression.

Goblin orders are probably based around who and what they would bless. If you are a traveling merchant, you would probably pay your indulgences or tithes to priests of “Safe Journeys” who in turn use the money to maintain and repair things like roads and lighthouses. (Get it!?  LIGHThouses! ha ha ha)  This would be necessary if goblins are indeed anarcho-capitalists, because they probably are LOATH to pay anything like TAXES to take care of public goods.

The discipline priests would be the bookkeepers.  Human justice may be blind, but goblin (and gnome) Justice is meticulously measured through a  magnifying glass.  It’s a goblin discipline priest that is called in whenever a moral issue comes up that needs to be resolved, and a dollar amount needs to be calculated for a misdeed.

Goblin holy priests are spendthrifts.  They take the money the church brings in and spend it on the the biggest and best, whatevers (it doesn’t matter the shopping is the fun part, right?)  Their job is to make sure all the money the priesthood brings in is put to ‘good use’. Holy goblins are probably first in line when Griftah opens shop, but he won’t sell to them. He knows ripping off a goblin holy priest in the morning means a goblin SHADOW priest will come knocking that night.

Goblin Shadow Priests are cynical enforcers of Karma.  A tithe collected by a goblin shadow priest functions as spiritual protection money, or ‘oops’ insurance.

So that’s how I personally role-play my goblins faith.  It doesn’t match up with what’s in game very well, but it works really well for me!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tithe

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indulgence

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anarcho-capitalism

GoblinPriests

((warning, this is head canon, THE WORST kind of head canon.  It directly conflicts with the official story))

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